Baby Brain

I'm sitting here with my crisp donut and cup of crunchy ice reading about the last two weeks of pregnancy on American Pregnancy and gleaning nursery ideas from IKEA. What should I be doing? Finishing, well--starting, a 15-page paper that's due in less than a week and preparing for finals. That's not to mention the current state of our house and all the cleaning/organizing/swiffering/dishes I want to be doing. Well, mostly that I want done and apparently I've gotta do it in order to enjoy it being done.

What am I doing instead? Thinking. Planning. Anxiously waiting. I swear to Daniel everyday that "today is the day." He humors me, usually, with a "yeah? you think so?" We both know I don't really think so, I just hope one of these times I'll be right. But would I really be ready for it? I had some Braxton-Hicks contractions this last week-end that made me long for menstrual cramps--which are usually nicer on me. Between classes and adapting to a new job I've lost the gumption to work exercise into my schedule. And Daniel and I have been self-educating ourselves on the birth process as we were unable to take part in actual classes. Then of course I'm reminded that my sister was always the babysitter of the family and I, being the youngest, have no preparation for caring for a baby.

Am I ready?? Heck, yes, I am!! Thankfully I've got a wonderful partner and friend to learn with me and share in this experience. We've got a wonderful family that we get to see within the next couple of weeks. And we've got an awesome support group of friends here at Union that have been encouraging and supportive as we prepare for this tiny addition and big life change.

So, I'll continue to be proud of the nursery that we've put together even without Ikea-esque decorations--frankly our baby won't know the difference, especially if she spends the first bit in our room. I'll count my blessings that Daniel is here with me and the doctors and nurses know enough to get us safely through the birthing process. And I'll continue to build on the little bit of research I've done to get this research paper done in time. Will it all happen? Heck, yes, it will.