Giving When You Have Nothing to Give

Who wants to join me going into this giving season... giving?

I've been toying with the idea of a toy-less Christmas. Essentially replacing indulging my privileged children with giving to underprivileged children. I wouldn't do this without their involvement. I don't want them to look back on this time with longing for things. That would certainly be contradictory to the whole point.

And the point is giving. And teaching that lifestyle to my children.

I'm not sure I can pinpoint when I learned to give. Many times I think I'm still in the trenches learning this essential lifestyle. Sure, I'm on board with giving. But usually after I get. Usually after we're blessed with an income, then we'll give tithe. If we can cover our needs and a couple wants, then we'll donate to a charity. After we receive our tax refund each spring, then we sponsor a little girl in India named Poojitha.

Sadly, we usually only give after we receive.

Maybe that pattern is not entirely a bad thing. The only way we're able to give anything of importance is by receiving the gift of Jesus Christ. The problem comes when we make our giving contingent on material gains. Jesus was not and is not material, so limiting our giving by what we can materially manage is limiting His power to work in our lives.

In Love Skip Jump Shelene Bryan says, "I believe too many Christians have been lulled, pacified, and numbed into the cradle of the modern 'easy life.' The effect of this has been that we don't need God. We don't really need Him to accomplish what we are doing."

That's certainly my problem. Lately we give 10% and not much more, because we don't have much more. We give through ourselves, not Jesus. We live on our limited power and possessions, not His power and provisions from the stores of His entire Kingdom. The result is that we take for ourselves first, and then we don't usually have anything leftover to give to others.

Many times over God has worked miracles with our finances. Lately, I've come to expect starting the month with an unbalanced budget. Unbalanced in the negatives, just to clarify. By the end of the month, He has worked miracles with our budget. Not always in visible ways, either. Even though I closely monitor our budget, I'm not usually able to pinpoint how we pay all our bills, buy our normal amounts of food, and end the month with a balanced budget. But it happens and I know it's by the power of Jesus and His provisions.

It's incredible!

However, I don't believe Jesus blesses us simply for us to be blessed.

Is our balanced budget all He's after? Not really. If that were the case, then He's just buying us time until the new year when our monthly medical bills practically disappear along with His power. I believe He's doing more than just buying us time, because this story isn't really about us, it's about Him. Our budget miracles are for His glory.

And I think He really gets the glory when we give despite having nothing to give.

Giving from Him, not from ourselves.

This weekend a group of us discussed the "Profile of the Lukewarm" from the book Crazy Love. In this chapter, Francis Chan describes what lukewarm so-called Christians might do or what their lives might look like. Here are bits from 7 of the 18 statements that stuck out to me in regards to my sad giving habits.

Lukewarm people...

• ...give money to charity and to the church if they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give. (1 Chron. 21:24, Luke 21:1-4)
• ...give Jesus only a section of their time, money, and thoughts. (Luke 9:57-62)
• ...love others, but typically focus on those who love them in return. (Luke 14:12-14)
• ...will serve God and others, but have limits to how far they will go. (Luke 18:21-25)
• ...are thankful for their luxuries and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor. (Matt. 25:34, 40; Isa. 58:6-7)
• ...give/do whatever is necessary to keep from feeling too guilty. (1 Chron. 29:14; Matt. 13:44-46)
• ...structure their lives to not have to trust God. (Luke 12:16-21; Heb. 11)

This sort of thinking is natural to most of us and even rationalized. The truth of Jesus' call has certainly made me fidget. What about our bills and caring for our children? God doesn't really want me to be irresponsible with my finances, right?

He never called us to be irresponsible, but certainly made it clear we need to not fear and instead trust Him. And that is the goal this giving season and beyond.

Fear and trust Him. With our finances and with our giving.

The first time December was more about giving than what I'd receive for Christmas, was when I was around 10. There were 3 siblings my age and younger that sometimes showed up to church. The youngest not as much, because his heart condition often landed him in the hospital. It was clear that bathing was not a routine occurrence for them. And their toes often peeked through tattered shoes.

The time I knew something needed to be done was when one of the girls came to church during a Midwest winter with no coat and, after accidentally exposing herself, apparently no undergarments. I went home that day and asked my mom if I could give the girl my coat (I had recently upgraded to a Chiefs starter jacket handed down from my brother), and if we could buy them new socks and underwear.

She went with it and got other family involved too. By the time we visited their humble rundown home, we had a good-sized box for each child with coats, packages of undergarments, and even some toys. There was also a box of fresh citrus and other foods for the parents. The kids excitedly opened their packages as the parents looked on and smiled. They were hard to understand when they spoke even though their first language was English, but their gratitude was clear without words.

That is such a good memory to me, but I'm sad that so far it's only a memory.

It hasn't become habit. My own kids haven't experienced this sort of giving. Christmases haven't been more about others and their needs than it has been about us and our wants. Yet.

There is still time to change. And this season is as good a time as any.

I've got to be honest and tell you I don't exactly know where to start. I have a vision of where I want my life and our family to be in terms of giving, but the path there is a little unclear.

Here are some ideas I'm considering to take those first steps in giving...

1 | Donate on #GivingTuesday.

This is a good follow-up to the "gimmes" of Black Friday and Cyber Monday; a reminder and opportunity to give. Learn more about Giving Tuesday >> here. We'll donate to a favorite charity (like Tiny Hands International) or a local shelter and make this season about more than ourselves.

2 | Limit internal giving.

For the last couple years we've given the kids something to wear, something to read, and something to play with. Our budget for this is super low, and what we get usually fits pretty close to the "need" category. This year I'm wondering if we can skip the "something to play with" for a better 'cause like #3 below.

3 | Increase external giving.

I'd like the kids to choose an underprivileged child of the same gender to buy a present for. We don't really have extra funds for this, so I feel this is more a priority than buying for ourselves (see #2 above). There are usually trees around town that have papers with a child's info and wish list. Shelters and such likely have a wish list, too.

4 | Buy from companies that give.

Jen Hatmaker recently shared a list of such places. For instance, we buy our glasses from Warby Parker because they're designer quality for only $95 total, but they also donate a pair for each pair they sell. Check out Jen's list >> here for other companies that give back.

5 | Support fundraisers for a good cause.

My daughter's first grade class is selling Krispy Kreme donuts to buy presents for children at our local shelter. We will definitely be buying a dozen (or two ;) of donuts to share with others, and help support this good cause.

6 | Donate all money earned December 1-25.

We could certainly use the little bit of money earned here. For 25 days, however, we're going beyond the usual small giving and dedicating all of those earnings to the lives of others. For any sales of Simplicity vs., or any commissions earned from Warber Parker and PicMonkey affiliate links these 25 days, 100% of proceeds will go to Tiny Hands International. They rescue girls in danger of being trafficked in Nepal and surrounding areas. I wear my One Girl bracelet often, and appreciate the reminder to take these serious scenarios and the name of a specific girl to Jesus in prayer.


There is so much more that could be done, and so much more I'd like to do. This is a small start that I hope ripples into a year-round giving habit. Most of all, I hope to pass on a heritage of selfless giving to my children.

Not as the world gives, but as only Jesus can give through us.

Freedom Today

Last year was my first time choosing a "word of the year." Even though this concept has been around the web for a while, it was new to me.

Even so, my word came rather natural to me: Freedom.

Over Christmas, we had watched a documentary with family called 58: The Film. I mention more about the film >> here, but one thing I took from it was how debt (and so many other things) truly are a "bondage." We get so used to the stress and it's so common to see everyone else struggling that this bondage seems normal. This was the first I truly recognized how bad off I am in relation to the light--the hope--that Jesus offers in freedom.

Freedom from our debt. Freedom from our expectations and the requirements we place on ourselves. Freedom from other's opinions. And so much more that I knew would be uncovered as I threw myself on my knees asking God for freedom.

Well, in the last year, He uncovered a whole lot more freedom than I expected.

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My main focus starting this "year of freedom" would be our more tangible journey to debt freedom. I outlined those details (our total debt, our goals, etc.) >> here. Basic math told me that achieving actual debt freedom in that one year would be literally impossible. Our student loan total almost doubled our yearly income, and we still needed to, you know, eat and pay rent and stuff. So, apart from a significant change in our income or some other large donation, I understood paying off our debt in a year wouldn't actually happen.

I hadn't ruled out a miracle. With a renewed understanding of the power of prayer that I shared >> here, I would be praying with passion for freedom--literally from debt and however else God chose to give it. The pastor that encouraged me with those thoughts on prayer told a story about his and his wife's own journey to debt freedom. People out of nowhere wrote them checks for large sums of money that obliterated thousands of dollars in debt. He didn't know it at the time, but his wife had been praying earnestly everyday for over a year for freedom from their debt. And God came through in big, obvious ways.

Naturally, the details of his example stuck with me. Whether it's moving a mountain or removing debt, God can handle it all and with faith in Him, I knew He would come through for us.

So, that's what I did this last year: Put my faith in God. Got on my knees before Him, asking for a miracle. Specifically, freedom in the midst of a seemingly impossible situation.

After a month into this new year I can finally say, He came through for me. In big and incredible ways! Although nothing like I had imagined or hoped for this time a year ago.

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God didn't deliver us from our debt.

Actually, instead, He blessed us with our third pregnancy. I'll talk more about this "family planning process" in another post, but for this post I'll just say this news has been an adjustment. It means so many things to decide financially (New apartment? New car? Five more years before I go back to work?! In the meantime, no more Christian education for the kids and continued delay in paying off debt?), that we have felt a little more burden and stress in this new season than blessing.

And I was having a hard time coping with this as November and December rolled around. Did I not have enough faith? Am I supposed to pray longer? Are the big miracles really only reserved for special people? Is a life of "poverty" really what God has planned for us?

In reading Beth Moore's Believing God along with various parts of the Bible, answers have recently become apparent that I have been praying over a year for.

First, Beth talks about the importance of praying for the big miracles, and believing God even when they don't happen. Because if God doesn't work the miracle in the way we expect, by what we know about Him we can be sure He has a bigger thing working behind the scenes. There is always a reason, and even if we don't see it, God is who He says He is and He is still able to do what He says He can do.

So, what does this mean as we face growing student loan debt (that's what happens when your loans are on Income-Based Repayment) and a still-low income with our newly growing family? Does it mean that God isn't still on His throne and in control, or that He is choosing not to bless us with our physical needs?

Of course not!

My apparent unanswered prayers just meant He had something else coming, and it became more obvious this week: Freedom.

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We had a discussion in church (Sabbath School) about the phrase "God won't give you more than you can handle" especially in relation to 1 Corinthians 10:13. It was a good discussion but what stood out most to me was the end of verse 13:

God will "make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it."

I find it interesting that with our "escape" Paul writes that we will also "bear it." Insinuating the escape might be more on a spiritual level than a physical level a la Paul in Philippians writing about joy while in prison. Or David's "spacious place" of Psalm 18:19 while he is yet pursued by and hiding from his enemies. This is described in Philippians 4:7 as "a peace that passes understanding."

And it became apparent that while I've been pleading with God to change our circumstances--to have us make more money and pay off our debt--the change He was really setting in motion is on another level. It's longer lasting and ultimately more important. And it likely means we'll be "poor" (more about that below) and in debt for a while longer.

But He hasn't forgotten us. He hasn't ignored our cries. He is making our way of escape so that we are able to carry on. A spiritual power to endure these physical and human hardships. I couldn't ask for a better deliverance!

Because we aren't going through anything that is uncommon for man (1 Corinthians 10:13). God is faithful who won't let us endure more than He is able to endure through us.

But that's not all.

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Nehemiah 9 talks about all the ways God provided for the Israelites while they were in the wilderness (clothes that didn't wear out, feet that didn't swell, food from Heaven, clouds by day and fire by night), but they remained "stiff-necked" and did their own thing. And I realized how I have been doing the same thing. It's worth looking around this "wilderness" I feel like we're stuck in and instead note all the ways God has provided and continues to provide for us.

Here are just a few: Never over-drawing on our checking account. Always having money (however little) in savings. Always being able to pay our bills in full. Saving for Daniel's retirement, paying off private student loans, sending Brylee to a great preschool the last couple years and now all-day kindergarten at a Christian school. No car loans and always affording necessary repairs that come up. Always having food, including the luxury of eating out; always dressing decent, including the luxury of sometimes going on mini-shopping sprees. A fully furnished home, up-to-date medical care, and occasional opportunities for travel.

These are no small thing when you consider our tight budget!

I am in awe of the abundant ways God has provided our needs and blesses us even while I complain about His intentions to leave us "poor."

Poor?!

Obviously I have been stiff-necked instead of noting and thanking Him for so many provisions. That changes now. May I not forget, and may I not turn my back while in this "wilderness." Because He is here, too, blessing all the way.

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Finally, Jeremiah 29:11 is a popular text for its promised hope and future that we cling to.

However, the whole context of the chapter shows that the people are in captivity away from their Promised Land. They are being instructed to go ahead and build houses in this foreign land and plant fruit trees there in the place of their captivity (verse 5).

They are also encouraged to have children, and have their children marry and have children so their numbers will not diminish, because they will be there for a while (verse 6).

In verse 7, they are also told to seek peace while they are still held captive in this foreign land.

Then, after seventy years (70!), God will perform His good word and cause them to return from captivity (verse 10). And that's what gives them hope and a future in verse 11--something that will take seventy years to come to fruition.

In the meantime, they are encouraged to find peace in this place.

Peace.

In this place. A place of uncertainty and captivity.

And that is the freedom God has lead me to over the last year, and especially over the last couple months. That even while we look forward to a Promised Land of prosperity to pay off debt and freely give, there is still peace and blessing to be found here. In this moment. On this budget.

He hasn't forgotten us, and He won't forget.

So, may we not forget Him--or forget to freely live--while we wait. Freedom is ours in the process, not just the outcome.

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PS, we're still on our journey to debt freedom. I'll likely share more about that this year. Here are a few I've shared already (or see all my financial posts >> here):

our total debt + debt-free plan
our monthly budget
our cash envelope system
our bare bones budget
how we save money on groceries

Finances, Simplified

Do you know how much money you need to live?

I'm not talking about how much do you budget, but how much of your budget is absolutely essential?

It's called a bare bones budget and we usually know this number right along with our regular budget number, and yes, they're different.

This is the amount, that if our income quit tomorrow, we would need to cover a few specific minimum expenses. In a bare bones budget, we basically include two essentials: food and shelter. Although depending on the circumstances, we'd likely add to that things like insurance, phone bill (especially if there's a high amount to cancel it), etc.

Why does a bare bones budget matter?

1 | It's too easy to confuse wants and needs.

Our budgets show our confusion between needs and wants when we end up with line items for frivolous extras that we're not willing to budge on.

2 | We just might find ourselves needing to live on a bare bones budget.

We did two years ago. We were temporarily jobless and homeless, staying with my sister while we looked for a job and a place to live. Our last paycheck from the previous job came in June, and we had minimal savings that we used up in moving ourselves from Florida back to the Midwest. We didn't know when we'd find jobs, what they'd pay, or when they'd start.

We had no choice but to fall back on our bare bones budget.

What's in Our Bare Bones Budget

What we live on now, might be considered a bare bones budget by some. Simply because our income while I stay home with the kids isn't much above covering our basic essentials. Whether it's our current income or we find ourselves needing to make do with even less, here are some categories we consider for a bare bones budget.

Giving

Giving 10% of our income is non-negotiable. If we have anything coming in, we tithe on it. This is included in our bare bones budget, unless we have no income (i.e., living on savings), then we'd wait to give when we have something (anything) coming in.

Food

The amount set aside for food is lowered for our bare bones budget. I've mentioned before that we budget about $100/wk for food that covers $75/wk for groceries and $25/wk for eating out. If something major came up, we would likely lower this quite a bit, possibly to as low as $250/mo. Now, some might wonder how that could sustain a family of four. It'd be a challenge, but dry beans, pasta, rice, oats, a 10 lb. bag of potatoes and few select produce items are super affordable and can go a really long way in making lots of different semi-healthy meals. Remember, the point of "bare bones" is survival, not luxury.

Housing

Our rent is included in a bare bones budget. Unless, of course, we lost our jobs. For instance, when we were living on our last paycheck in the summer of 2011, we were staying at my sisters and didn't have to include housing in our bare bones expenses. I'm sure that might have changed if we stayed there a long time; but within a couple months we had an income and a place of our own, so we were blessed with their generosity for that temporary transition.

Transportation

We intentionally do not maintain any car loans, so only need to include gas and insurance in our bare bones budget. If things got tight, we'd really limit use of the car possibly dropping refills from two-a-month down to one-a-month, and selling the car would probably be a last resort. (Especially considering we plan on being a one-car family for a while.)

Communication

Internet and cell phone is a part of our bare bones budget. Having at least one phone for our family is important. If needed, we could likely take data off our plan to save a little money each month. Internet could be cancelled if necessary, especially when it can be used for free at so many places around town. With things like phone and internet, we'd consider if we're still in a contract because of cancellation fees.

Debt or Bills

Private student loans have to be paid no matter what, while federal student loans can usual be deferred or put on some sort of payment plan to match new circumstances. Debt or other monthly bills would need to be considered case-by-case. We don't have anything beyond student loans, so this is pretty simple for us. If you have credit cards or medical bills or anything else, minimum payments would likely need to be included in a bare bones budget.

Spending

In a truly bare bones we've-been-homeless-for-months type of situation, spending/blow/fun money should not be in the equation. However, if there is any room for it, it's helpful to have a tiny amount available for the unplanned. This might cover a necessary (and discounted) clothing item, a very occasional (and affordable) family night out, etc.

There's something so freeing about viewing our finances from this simplified, bare bones perspective. Especially when we found ourselves jobless and homeless, I feel like this was the commonsense that backed up my faith.

Faith in God--that He was leading us back to the Midwest, that He would lead us to a job and a home--that faith definitely kept me going and gave me the security I needed to feel at peace through the transition.

Having a realistic understanding of our budget--of needs vs. wants and knowing what was truly essential--that truly lowered our stress and our uncertainty and gave us space to enjoy the unknown.

Simplifying our finances through a bare bones budget certainly helped in that time of heightened stress. But it's real purpose comes into play each month.

Whenever we find ourselves overspending in an area, or having an unexpected medical bill to pay--these basic financial survival skills of evaluating needs vs. wants are the only thing that keep us from getting further in debt, or falling into a trap of bad financial decisions.

We have a long ways to meet that debt-free goal. And we're doing it one simple baby financial step at a time. Eliminating that debt makes living simply and on less a lot easier.

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also read:
simplicity, simplified series
cash envelope system
save money on groceries
monthly dose of simple

How to Save Money on Groceries

So far in our journey to debt freedom I've shared our debt-free plan, our budget, and our cash categories.

Today, I'm sharing a little more about how we save money on groceries. Because a penny saved is a penny earned, right?

Recently, a friend said she noticed our "incredibly low grocery bill" on one of my recent posts. We budget $100/week and can often spend around $75/week. I've talked about it some here and here. Then, she asked how we keep it so low.

The day she asked that we had spent $120 on groceries and household essentials (things like laundry detergent, toilet paper, and cosmetics are included in our grocery budget). That's pretty high for us. But two things came to mind: 1. $120 for some families is actually pretty low, and 2. looking at why it was higher is a good indicator of what things keep it down the other weeks.

Tips for Saving Money on Groceries

Here's what I noticed that keeps our grocery bill down...

Grocery Money-Saving Tip #6 | Stock up only on the always used/versatile items.

Limit snacks.

I generally try not to buy too many snacks because I don't feel like the kids need them (thanks to Bringing Up Bebe and the French's anti-snack tradition) and we eat them too quickly. It adds up when I buy granola bars, wheat thins, graham crackers, gold fish, etc. (which I did that week). It's better if I can limit this to a couple cracker options and fruit.

Shop when full.

Such a simple thing, but when I've just eaten I always stick to the list and make better choices. When I'm hungry, everything sounds good and feels like a need (i.e., a full stock of crackers).

Make a meal plan and shopping list. And stick to it.

Meal-planning, making a detailed shopping list, and sticking to it play a huge part in keeping our bill low. I made a meal plan and list that week, but I added extra things (see "shop when full" :)

Plan simple meals.

Our cheapest weeks, by far, are when we eat simple, few-ingredient meals. A box of whole wheat pasta and a jar of sauce is cheaper (and easier) than the fancier homemade sauces and pasta dishes (yet healthier than Kraft mac n cheese). Right now I'm aiming for a balance of healthy enough while staying cheap. We eat a lot of the same stuff, maybe even too often: homemade chilli + cornbread, haystacks, beans and rice, rice and curry, pasta + sauce, tacos, etc. For suppers we have sandwiches and smoothies (fits in with our evenings at the gym--when we go).

Rely on staples.

That week we were out of some of our go-to items: beans, rice, coconut oil, frozen fruit, etc. Usually our first week of the month is a little higher because we restock on these items, then the rest of the weeks are cheaper because we already have these items on hand for easy and healthy meals.

Stock up on the always used/versatile items.

That said, we don't really "stock up" on things. We only buy what we need for the week. Except for things like baking supplies, beans, rice, pasta, bread, smoothie supplies. Those are items we use every single week, don't go bad quickly, and can easily become a meal if we delay going shopping again for a day or two.

Get used to leftovers.

Our small family can easily make one meal and eat it twice. This saves time and money by not having to exert energy for an entirely new meal, and not having to use all new ingredients. Sometimes this might mean simply reheating a meal from the day or two before. Other times it might involve repurposing yesterday's leftover chili into today's tacos.

Those are the primary things that help us save money. (And, when not followed, the reasons we go over budget.)

After sharing these with my friend, she replied with two things that changed and really affected their budget:

1 | She started planning simple meals (#4 above). She said the more complex meals didn't get made, and the ingredients for them would go to waste.

2 | After going back to school, her mom offered to do her grocery shopping to help out with her family responsibilities. This means she needed to make a specific list, and her mom stuck to it (#3 above). Someone else isn't likely to make impulse buys for you. We could all use that kind of accountability! For our budgets and our health.

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also read:
finances, simplified
cash envelope system
monthly dose of simple

linked up: everything frugal

Cash Envelope System | our cash categories

So far in our Journey to Debt Freedom 2013, I've shared our total debt and our monthly budget. Today, I'm sharing about the cash envelope system (here's how I made my own) and how it works for us.

The cash envelope system isn't anything new, but it seems new in a culture flooded with swiping cards. It's a way to control and monitor spending by taking your money out of the bank, dividing it into envelopes labeled with a specific budget category. Spending is done with cash only. That's the basics. Now onto a little more of the benefits, how to get started, and how we make it work for us with our cash categories.

Benefits of the Cash Envelope System

Before jumping on board with the cash envelope system, it's helpful to know why it's so helpful. Here are a few reasons we've found it helpful...

We feel the challenge of letting go of hard earned cash.

Swiping a card doesn't evoke the same emotional attachment as handing over cash. Swiping a card: Easy. Counting and letting go of cash: Gut wrenching. While emotional attachment to cash isn't generally a good thing, it has been a helpful tool in saving money.

We know how much we spend, when we spend it.

Sometimes (often), I swipe my debit card without paying much attention to the total due. Seriously, without checking the receipt, I often wouldn't even have a guess at how much I paid. When I pay with cash, I am very cognizant of how much I am spending--which is vital in sticking within a budget. (Knowing this also effects our purchase choices before even getting to the register.)

We know where we stand in our budget categories.

Just a quick glance in our envelopes says how we're doing with our budget (often: not great). An excessive surplus in one envelope could mean we need less in that category, and running out too soon might mean we need a little boost in a category. Or, for us (because we've had a budget for a while and know our category amounts), running low means we need to tighten up until the end of the month, and extra cash means we just might get to add it to next month's cash and make a larger purchase.

When the money is gone, it's gone.

We simply don't run in the red when we're using cash. Once the money is gone, it's gone. No handing over invisible bills and hoping it works. No overdrawn fees. We either have the cash or we don't. If we don't, then we'll have to wait until next pay day for whatever it is we want.

Getting Started with the Cash Envelope System

It only takes a few easy steps to get started with the cash envelope system. Here's how we did it...

Set the budget.

I shared our budgeting basics last month. This is an important first step. We know how much we spend in categories like clothes, food, and entertainment. If you're just starting out, this might be more of an estimated guess until you can try it out and see what works.

Choose cash categories.

Not everything has to be paid with cash. There are certain set bills that are much easier to pay from our bank account. We know those variable expenses that tend to cause us to overdraw--clothing, spending, eating out, entertainment, food. Those are budget categories perfect for cash categories.

Make/buy cash envelopes.

I made my cash envelopes from a few of my favorite scrapbook papers. I made the template so it's closer to cash size and fits better in my wallet than full size envelopes. You could also use Dave Ramsey's cash envelope system, make or buy a fabric option (try Etsy), use a small file envelope, or try regular store bought envelopes to get started. As mentioned below, you can also think outside the envelope.

Spend and adjust.

We started as soon as possible using our cash for the appropriate categories, then observed. Observing what makes it difficult to stick with while thinking up solutions. Observing what categories have cash left over or run out too soon, and adjusting our budget (or spending) accordingly.

Making the Cash Envelope System Work for You

The cash envelope system can be personalized and adjusted to fit any person or lifestyle. Here are a few tips that helped it work for us...

Note temptation to overspend.

We all have our weaknesses and areas where we overspend. Mine is eating out. (It used to be the clearance shelves at Target.) Daniel's is probably hobbies. The kids' is clothes. Recognizing these areas of weakness has helped us rethink our habits, how we spend our time, how we can overcome them. A solid meal plan helps with the eating out, (learning about living with less cured my Target habit), saving-up funds hobbies, and shopping second hand with a list covers clothes.

Think outside the envelope.

Not all cash has to go in an envelope, and not all cash has to go in your wallet. (In fact, it's better if it doesn't.) We only have three cash envelopes because Daniel's cash goes in his wallet (without an envelope), and my cash goes in my wallet (without an envelope).

No borrowing from another envelope.

This would probably be my husband's number one rule. In the past, if we run into a tight spot and needed groceries, I was tempted to pull from whatever is left (often his spending money, because he leaves it in the bank for future purchases). Stick to the cash available for each category. If you need to get creative with beans and rice because you blew through your grocery money, then do it. Even if you have money left over in another category.

Set goals.

Thinking about the bigger picture can motivate us to spend better. Sure, we have $400/mo cash for groceries and necessities and we generally use up every last penny. But setting a goal that we can all get on board with (paying off debt, saving for vacation?) can motivate us to make do with less and save those extra pennies.

Choose essential categories.

The number one thing that helps us stick with cash is choosing only the categories essential for our family. For instance, some people take out gas money in cash. We personally never overspend in this category and find it really easy to manage it through our debit card, so that isn't a cash category for us. However, we could easily eat out beyond the means available in our account, so this absolutely has to be a cash category for us.

Our Cash Categories

Alright, you waited for it and finally here it is: Our family's (current) cash categories...

Household + Eating Out

This category gets $100/wk or $400/mo, which includes groceries and household essentials (cosmetics, toilet paper, etc.). It is kept in our cash envelopes in my wallet. (I hand Daniel this cash if he runs to the store for something we need; but I do much of the grocery shopping.)

If I meal plan and stick with the list, we can often spend around $75/wk and sometimes less. We cut our eating out fund to afford our gym membership (both supporting healthy living), and decided if we could keep our household spending below $100/wk, then we could use the surplus to eat out. We're still in a learning curve on that, and have been ending up spending about $450/mo total household + eating out. I've heard of others doing worse, so I'm okay with that, though we're still aiming for the $400/mo.

Parent Spending

We each get $30/mo for our personal spending money. This covers everything not considered a need--hobbies, clothes, girls or guys night out, etc. This money is kept in our respective wallets. (We sometimes keep some or all of it in the bank if we know we'll be buying something online that month.)

This might seem a little (a lot?) low to you. Let me solve that for you: It is. We've never had much in this category, due to our church income and student loans. But this is particularly low because we are refocusing on paying down debt this year. I wanted to do something epic like not spend anything all year. But my smart husband suggested we needed something in this category or we wouldn't stick to the plan. He's right. This little bit each month has kept us from going completely insane.

Kids' Spending

The kids get $20/mo to share for their spending money. This covers wants and some needs--toys, clothes, play dates. This money is kept in a cash envelope in my wallet.

Like the note for our spending above, this is lower this year. We often don't spend it all each month, so I let it carry over for the months we need to buy seasonal clothes or gifts. In the future, this category will likely become their commission (allowance)--a reward for their work (the work not otherwise required for simply being in our family), and a discussion-ender for when they want expensive jeans with holes in them. (Or was that just a problem between my mom and older brother in the 90s?)

Other Categories

With less than five categories, we have just enough cash to live comfortably (top 5% in the world!), and little enough to remember we're in debt. If we had the income for it, we'd likely also have separate categories for things like home decor and furnishings, clothes, hobbies, etc. For now, we lump them together in the above categories or don't spend on those things.

Truthfully, I hope that continues. Because who really needs an ongoing budget for home decor? Our house is set up, simple, and everything a home should be. While I dream of upgrades, is that what we really need?

And right there is the question that guides all of our budgeting and spending and cash flow...

Is that what we really need?

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what's next?
new? start here...
diy cash envelopes
save money on groceries
finances, simplified
monthly freebies

Budgeting Basics | setting + sticking to a plan

Last month I shared about the bondage of debt and our broad plan for getting out of it.

The real magic is in the monthly budget. Monitoring our finances--knowing where the money is coming from and where it will go--is essential in reaching larger goals like paying off $54k in debt.

Over fifty-four thousand. Phew. That number makes me feel little. And weak. Because we're a family of four living on one income. My husband is a hard worker and has a great job that he enjoys, which is essentially a ministry position. He works for a Christian college with great benefits, and less-than pay. I keep pluggin' away in the ministry of our home. Raising our two kids, maintaining the household (like our budget), and freelancing a little to build experience and hopefully do more in a couple years when the kids are in school.

For now, we're a family of four living on one income, with debt that outnumbers a year's salary. That can be overwhelming. Except for two things that keep us going: Our monthly budget and God.

I take pleasure in our needs, because
when we are weak, God is strong. | 2 Cor. 12:10

So, we keep movin' along, trusting that God will provide our needs. (Phil. 4:19) Making the best use of what belongs to Him. (Ps. 24:1) Knowing that kids aren't toddlers forever, and our income will likely change. (Ecc. 3:6) Knowing that He has the details and our futures in His hands. (Jer. 29:11) Accepting that being faithful in this little will train us to be faithful in much. (Luke 16:10)

Here's a little bit more about how we handle the monthly budget, and make the best use of the little* we've been given.

Setting a Budget

The first year of our marriage I kept track of our budget in a simple notebook--true story. Then, I signed up for Mint (it's free). I loved the idea of it, but couldn't figure out how to make it work for me. A couple years ago I upgraded our budget to a fancy spreadsheet full of formulas and such--this has been so functional and effective. You can find budgeting spreadsheet templates at Vertex42.com. That's where I found mine, complete with a debt calculator and all.

These are just a few of the options available for tracking a budget. The point is to write (or type) it to see progress and make changes or adjustments as areas of weakness become apparent. This helps us know where we overspend, assures we always have money for the essentials, and helps us save a little bit to be used for a snowball.

There are three types of expenses I've noticed in our budget setting...

Set Expenses

These are things like utilities, rent, insurance. If we shopped around or changed services, the amounts could technically be different. But as long as we stick with the same service, these amounts need to be paid each month. Included in this are any minimum payments on credit cards, loans, medical bills, etc. Anything with a payment amount and a due date goes in this category and has be budgeted first. (We include tithe in this category, because it's non-negotiable for us.)

Flexible Expenses

The amount left is what we have to put into more flexible categories: What we spend on gas, clothes, food, etc. These things are essential, but it tookk a month or two to find what we should be paying for these. There are not necessarily any set due dates for them. These are budgeted second, simply under the principle that we could technically cut our grocery bill by eating beans and rice so that we can pay our utilities and keep the lights on, as an example. It's also important that we try to save in these categories to lead to a bigger snowball (below).

Disposable Expenses

These are the extras included in our budget, but are much more flexible. If things got really tight, these are the ones that could technically be halted. Spending or fun money, entertainment, eating out, clothes, etc. Also included in this category would be a snowball payment. While the snowball is really important, it's taken out of what's left after paying set and flexible expenses. Spending on fun stuff should be limited to help create a bigger snowball.

Sticking to a Budget

When it comes to sticking to the budget and not overspending, there are three basic things that we do...

Zero Balance Budget

Even though we have an idea of our monthly budget, we go over the details the beginning of each month when Daniel gets paid. We always aim to balance our budget down to zero. If it ever shows in the red, that means we've overspent on something and need to make up for it somewhere else. If it shows in the positives, that means we have disposable income that needs to be budgeted otherwise it will disappear without us knowing where we spent it.

Auto Payments

I have auto payments set up for all of our utilities, insurance, etc. If it's something we have to pay monthly, it's automatically taken out of our account. I'm positive our bills would be forgotten a time or two if I didn't do this. I'll add that I am always aware of how much will be taken out and when, and it's definitely included in the budget.

Cash

Whatever is not automatically withdrawn, and has potential for us to overspend, is taken out in cash. We are not always great about this, but it helps a lot when we do. We basically have two cash categories: Household (for groceries and necessities) and spending (for clothes or whatever else we want that's not in the budget). We don't take cash for gas, simply because that's a category we never go over in.

Our Budget Categories

Here are some of the general categories of our budget and how we handle them (loosely in order of what gets paid first)...

Employer Deductions

Health insurance for our family, flex spending account for our medical expenses, retirement contributions, and taxes are all taken out before we receive the paycheck. We have incredible and affordable health insurance through Daniel's work, which is a huge blessing. He claims enough dependents on his taxes so that no more is withheld than necessary. (Better to receive that money each month in our check, than receive it later in a return). It's a good idea (one encouraged by Dave Ramsey) to not contribute to retirement until you're out of debt. The idea is that you "get gazelle intense" and do everything you can to eliminate debt within a couple years, then start throwing money into retirement. We, however, are in the middle of a long debt-repayment process, and my main man's employer matches 100% of contributions up to a certain amount. So, we contribute that amount (I think it's around 3%). It's not much, but it's being matched which doubles his investment.

Tithe + Giving

We give 10% of gross income. This is a non-negotiable that we give even if/when we're "too poor" to do so. It has never prevented us from eating or kept us from paying our bills. Which, considering where our finances have been, is a miracle and testimony in itself. Once we're debt free, we look forward to giving more than this. But this is where we are now.

Rent + Utilities

We live small in a 2 bdrm apt, paying 650/mo for rent. We technically could find something a little cheaper, but would sacrifice having a washer and dryer in our apt. and other things I consider a need with two young kids. Being sandwiched between residences on either side also keeps our utilities pretty low--often less than 100/mo total.

Auto

We had the same auto insurance for the first couple years of our marriage. I thought I had the best deal because I had all kinds of "discounts." But we shopped around and now pay less for full coverage than we did for liability, about 35/mo. My main man walks to work, and I walk Brylee to preschool. Our vehicle is more for recreation than necessity which keeps our gas expenses less than 100/mo.

Communication

When Daniel got his smart phone through work, we dropped him from our plan and used the savings to upgrade me to a smart phone for about 77/mo. We had a great start-up price for our internet, that of course went up after 6 months, so it's now about 54/mo.

Household

We budget 400/mo for food and necessities--that's about 100/wk. We shop each week, and if we can keep our grocery bill down, then we can use the extra to eat out. If we spend the full amount, then we don't eat out. This is something we recently started doing, because we'd spend our grocery money and eat more than we budgeted for eating out. If I plan our meals and make a shopping list, we can usually spend about 75/wk.

Student Loans

Last month I mentioned that we have private student loans we're currently paying on, and federal student loans that are currently in IBR (income-based repayment). We pay 67/mo min. payments on the private loans, and nothing on the federal. After creating our budget, we had about 150/mo leftover that we use as our snowball to throw at the private loans first, and hopefully soon get off IBR (when I make more money to do so).

Education + Recreation

Brylee is in preschool 3 mornings a week for 94/mo, and we have a family membership to a local gym for 105/mo. In order to afford the gym, we cut some of our spending money and cut out our eating out budget (see household plan above). Technically, we should be cutting all non-essentials and putting it all into our debt. But that's not realistic for a long period of time.

Entertainment

We watch local TV or stuff on Hulu for free. We also have a Netflix membership for 8/mo and budget an additional 7/mo for Redbox rentals and such.

Spending

We each get our own "spending money" or what some people call fun/splurge/blow money. This is what we use if we want clothes, coffee, or to go to the movies. We've never had much in this category--I think in our prime we were rollin' high at 75/mo each. It went down when our income went down. And we took it down even more in January so that we could create more of a snowball (see student loans above). We're now at 30/mo each for Daniel and I, and 20/mo for both kids.

It's tight, but that's the point: to feel the hurt of our debt, so we're motivated to do something about.

*While we feel poor by America's standards, we are wealthy in the world's. Our meager income puts us in the top 5.3% wealthiest in the world. Find your percentage >> here.

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also read:
finances, simplified
our total debt + debt-free plan
freedom while in debt

Bondage of Debt | our total debt + debt-free plan

Debt is a normal part of American life. It's how we pay for our college education, how many of us buy cars, how we purchase a house, and unfortunately how many choose to "afford" luxuries like shopping sprees and vacations, or our "safety net" for tough times.

Even in our personal endeavor toward debt freedom (thank you, Dave Ramsey), there's a certain aspect of debt that seems innocent. It's best to avoid it and it's not ideal, but it's not inherently evil. Or is it?

DIY Envelopes + a Custom Cash Envelope Tutorial

Today, I'm sharing all things envelopes!

This morning I led out in the craft for our church's Mom's Cafe, and we made our own envelopes. I love all of the pretty scrapbook paper options, but I don't scrapbook so it's fun finding other uses for it.

Receiving these pretty things in the mail would be so fun among all the junk and bills. Plus, they're incredibly useful if you're into couponing or use cash for budgeting (a la Dave Ramsey, see our cash envelope system >> here).

Keep reading for links to some of my favorite envelope tutorials, as well as my own tutorial on making a custom cash envelope system. Enjoy!

Envelope Tutorials

Cash Envelope System Template and Tutorial

This is a thorough tutorial including envelope templates. HOWEVER, the template is for a standard envelope, which is a little bigger than needed for cash and doesn't fit right in my wallet without getting bent up. I used her standard envelope template for the envelope pictured above that will be sent in the mail. Then I created my own cash-sized envelope template (see below).

Easy Tiny Envelopes

This tutorial shows how to open an envelope you already have and use it as a template to make more. This is perfect if you have a set of envelopes that you like but are running out, if you have a cardset but want to replace the basic white envelope that came with it, or if you receive a unique envelope and want to replicate it. This is probably easiest on mini envelopes, but could work on any size.

Heart Envelopes, Heart Envelope Card

These hearts-turned-envelopes are a fun idea. Perhaps a Valentine's project for the kids?

*Affiliate links used below. See full note at bottom of post.

How-to Make a Custom Cash Envelope System

Most tutorials I found for a cash envelope system use standard size envelopes, which are a little too big for the average wallet. Here is how to make your own template for a cash-sized envelope, with steps on creating the whole system for your wallet.


Materials

crisp dollar bill (or any other denomination of paper money)

pencil

plain paper

scissors

cardstock or lightweight cardboard (i.e., cereal box)

sharpee/marker
pretty paper
glue stick (rolling tape didn't work for me)
small hole punch
ribbon/twine
optional: labels, stickers, etc.

Making a Cash-Envelope Template

1. Trace bill to make a rectangle slightly larger than bill.

Place bill diagonally in the center of the paper. Begin tracing along one short side and one long side of bill. Scoot bill up about 1-2cm or 1/2 in. keeping it in line with the tracing already done. Finish tracing side and now top edge. Do again to complete the rectangle, making sure the lines connect to form four straight / even edges.

2. Mark points of triangle flaps.

Crease bill in half vertically and horizontally. Unfold, then refold vertically. Line up centered about 1/2 in. from one short edge and mark at center crease.

3. Trace triangle flaps.

Place bill diagonally and trace a straight line to connect corner with mark. Repeat to complete triangle. Repeat steps 2 and 3 for other short side of the template.

4. Mark point of bottom flap.

Place unfolded bill centered along bottom line and mark at bottom center crease. Draw a slight diagonal from corners to bill, about a 1/2 inch.

5. Draw lines of bottom flap. Repeat for top flap.

Use edge of bill to draw a straight line connecting short line to dot and repeat for other side. Repeat for top of template.

6. Cut out template. Fold in side flaps.

7. Fold up bottom flap, draw, and cut.

Fold up bottom and use bill to draw a straight line between sides. Cut along line. Finish folding envelope and make sure everything lines up and the front looks like a rectangle. Make adjustments if necessary.

8. Trace paper template onto cardboard or cardstock to create sturdier template.

Use a Sharpee or other thick marker to trace template onto a thin piece of cardboard or thick cardstock. (Cereal boxes from recycling work great--they're easy to cut but thick enough to make tracing easy.) Carefully cut out template staying on the inside of the thick line.

9. Cut out template and mark fold lines.

Carefully cut out template staying on the inside of the thick line. Mark that it's a cash envelope. Use it to make as many envelopes as you need, then hold onto for when you decide you want more or need to replace them.

It's time to make some envelopes!

Place cardboard template on patterned paper. Trace with Sharpee or other thick marker. Cut on the inside of the thick line. Fold in sides (tips should be pointing to each other) and fold up bottom (should draw straight line between sides). Use glue to secure bottom flap to sides. (Rolling tape is shown, but it did not hold well, so I follow with a glue stick.)

Fold down top. Cut a slit to insert tip of flap if you wish for the envelope to remain closed when not in use. Or fold flap inside of envelope (easier done before gluing bottom and sides together).

Attach labels. A label folded along top is more useful when flipping through envelopes, especially if they will be kept in a wallet. Otherwise labels on the fronts of the envelop can be fun.

Making a cash envelope system for your wallet...

1. Trace and cut rectangle out of cardstock for back of envelopes.

Use folded envelope to trace a rectangle out of cardstock, craft paper or light cardboard. Cut out rectangle.

2. Punch matching holes in cardstock and envelopes.

Mark dots about an inch apart along one long side of rectangle. Use a small hole-punch to punch holes. Use rectangle to mark dots along bottom of envelopes, and punch holes.

3. Stack envelopes and weave twine or ribbon.

Stack envelopes, and use twine or ribbon to whip stitch envelopes and cardstock together. Feed twine in from bottom and wrap it around to go back up through the bottom of the next hole. Keep twine loose enough to flip through the envelopes easily.

4. Tie off ends of twine.

Make sure the twine is loose enough to flip through envelopes easily. Tie off at the ends.

5. Put rectangle into back of wallet.

Insert rectangle into the back pocket of your wallet, where a checkbook might go. Cash envelopes will rest inside the wallet when closed, and are easily accessible when you need them.

Happy envelope-making!

>>>>>

Also read:
new? start here...
our cash system + categories
diy pin-tucked duvet cover
budgeting basics: setting + sticking to a plan
dose of simple

*Amazon affiliate links used. Purchases made through these links could earn me a small commission with no extra cost to you. Thank you!

Preschooler's Chore Chart and Allowance

Okay, so maybe 3-years-old really is too young to understand the value of a penny or to hold the full responsibility of chores. But now is when those life lessons begin for my little preschooler. She cleans up every last toy all by herself and proudly shows off her newly cleaned room with hand held out anxiously awaiting a penny or two to add to her piggy bank--this started at 2 1/2.

Preschooler's Chore Chart

I'll admit I've had good intentions to work this "allowance" into our daily routine, but so far it's just been hit-or-miss. So, I searched some ideas to implement a chore chart and an actual pay-out of her allowance. Here's some articles and printable charts I found...

• Parents.com has this "Say Yes to Chores" article that includes age-specific downloadable chore charts including this one for 2- to 4-year-olds. I don't like that a couple lines are already filled in. 
• Simple Mom also wanted a blank chart, so she made this simple preschoolers chore chart. I'm picky and I don't like calendars that start with Monday, which this one does. 
• Homeschool Creations writes about their chore experiences and includes this daily chore printout. Simple and effective, but still not quite what I was looking for.

The conclusion: I'm too picky to use someone else's chore chart. So I came up with my own. Check it out for yourself:

Brylee's Preschooler Picture Chore Chart

Blank Chore Chart

Explanation of Chores on Chart

Rather than a traditional chore chart that says things like "wash dishes" or "take out trash," I wanted more of a "to do" list or idea list. Something that Brylee could refer to when I'm busy and she's bored. Chores teach responsibility, and, at her age, being responsible for her free time is a pretty big thing to learn.

So, what's on the list?

Pick up toys, and Pick up clothes.

These are the only two items on the list that resemble traditional chores. There's other things she helps me with, but I want to keep a chore chart to things she can do herself. She has to do these before nap, bed, and before I let her watch TV.

Finish food, and Pee in the potty.

Lately she's been choosing not to eat her food and having more accidents, so I wanted her to feel accomplished when she finishes food and has no accidents.

Play or listen to music, Read a book, Play pretend, Color or write, and Do a puzzle.

These are the things that she can refer to when she's bored.

Brush teeth, and Get dress.

These are things she's learning to do herself. Sometimes she'd whine that she can't do it herself, but now that it's on this chart, she dresses herself every time.

Memory verse, Time with Jesus, and Pray.

These are partly for my reminder, but also to show her that this is an important part of our daily routine.

I included images to help her know what the chart says, but I figured there'd be a learning curve to teach her what the images meant. When I printed it and put it on the fridge, I explained what it was, and asked Brylee if she knew what it said. She proceeded to go down the list saying almost verbatim what I had printed on the chart.

Success!

The Reward, or Allowance

Of course, there's not much point of having a chore chart if there's no reward. There's two parts to the reward...

Internal Reward

The first part of the reward is the act of "checking off" the items as they're done. We're using magnets instead of stickers, so that our chart is reusable. There's some satisfaction putting a magnet next to something that's been accomplished, especially because knows these flower magnets were made especially for her. The reward in this is probably more so when we verbally acknowledge her as we remind her to move her magnet, and the high fives that follow.

External Reward

The second part of the reward is the pay-off at the end of the day. At her age, a daily reward is more beneficial. As she gets older, we'll move to weekly. Before she goes to bed, we count up all the magnets that she put on the chart that day. Right now her allowance is paid in a number of coins. If she has 10 magnets, she gets 10 coins (we decide their value :) Right now it's not as much about how much she earns, because she doesn't know what that means. Good thing, because that buys us a little time until we can figure out age-appropriate allowance amounts.

I also liked the idea I've seen of giving an allowance in 3 parts. 10% is given to be put in a giving jar, 10% is given to be put in a savings jar, and the rest goes into a spending jar. I like what this teaches, and starting early on will make the giving and saving habit by the time she's old enough to decide herself how her money will be spent. We'll be starting this as soon as I get the jars or their equivalent.

Right now, it all goes into her fat little piggy bank.

>>>>>

See updated kindergartener + toddler chore charts here.