Lessons on Steady -- A Year of Showing Up to Life

Last year was my year for Steady. (You can read about my year for Slow >> here.)

Where Slow revealed what happens down in the dirt of life, Steady showed me what can happen when we keep showing up to tend to our life. Those little actions (that often feel huge) repeated over and over can really become something. Namely, a growing, even thriving, Life.

That's what happened for me in my year of Steady. I attended to the harder parts of self-care (or as it became for me, life-care) by scheduling and showing up to appointments, returning to peer accountability, and "clocking in" daily to habits I wanted to grow.

Steady reminded me I am capable of making good decisions and being a whole and healthy person. Steady over time replaced my exasperated "I miss feeling alive" with "It feels good to be alive!" Steady let showing up be enough, and some days Steady allowed showing up to turn into some of my best effort yet.

The previous year's struggles in Slow turned into this year's Steady benefits and the following lessons on showing up to life.

1. Things that give me life aren't just a preference--they're a deeply healing necessity.

While in Florida (a surprise I got to join my husband on his work trip), I walked around enjoying all of the greenery and teared up taking it all in. It was tears of joy like salve on my soul. In that moment, I realized greenery and sunshine (among other things) aren't just a preference for me--they're a deeply healing necessity.

This helps me to realize in the middle of a Nebraska winter, that I need morning light therapy to make up for the lack of sun and I need to tend to some houseplants to make up for the missing green. There's other ways this applies. When I answer "What gives me life?" I'm not just figuring out trivial hobbies or interests, I'm finding what literally fuels my life.

2. When I'm going all in just to feel okay, I might need extra help going the last bit to really be okay.

After spending a lot of time on self-care--the kind that involves counseling, shutting down technology, taking vitamins, doing a course to learn more about mental and emotional health--I noticed I was still working really hard to feel okay, and wasn't always succeeding. Even when I succeeded, it was frustrating to always feel that struggle. So I finally asked my doctor about antidepressant options.

Some form of depression (and even anxiety, which I didn't realize until the last few years) has been a part of my life since I was 13, but I've always learned how to manage it. My year of Slow left me space to realize I wasn't really managing it anymore. My usual stuff helped, but wasn't fully working. I don't know if antidepressants will continue being a part of my solution, but for now they're the extra step I needed in this season. Sometimes that extra help includes counseling or a peer support group or an accountability partner or maybe vitamins. Whatever it is, it's worth taking that extra step to fully be okay.

3. I've been here all along, even when I don't feel myself.

In the middle of my biggest struggle, I felt deeply lost. I knew who I was and what mattered to me, or at least who I used to be and what used to matter. Then I had a bit of a breakthrough when my counselor read back his notes to me from a previous session. Everything he read sounded like the me I hoped to become; but he was reading notes that were based on what he currently saw of me. That was the beginning of me realizing I've been here all along, even when I feel lost. It's a matter of opening my eyes and truly seeing what God sees, who He created me to be and is continuing to lead me into, and not basing my identity on ever-changing feelings.

4. Health improvements take time.

We attended an 8-week seminar and group session on mental and emotional health, especially addressing anxiety and depression. We learned lots of important habits that affect our health and brain function more than we usually realize. We also learned that implementing these healthy habits can take weeks, even months, to see the full effect in our daily life. This is a concept I generally knew, but seeing more of the science and facts behind it helped emphasize it and serves as a good reminder to give any positive life changes time to see the fruits of the effort.

5. The miracle is God's presence in the struggle.

It was a "why me" moment at 3 a.m. with my husband gone on a trip, my 4-year-old waking up every 15 minutes to throw up, and my own migraine brewing. I needed God to show up and, I thought, change my circumstances. But right there in the midst of the struggle, story after story came to me of how God showing up in the middle of undesirable circumstances was The Miracle.

Angels shutting the mouths of lions while Daniel still had to sleep in their presence in the den; God showing up in the midst of the fire with the Hebrew boys before they walked out; God being with Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness. A strength and endurance grew in me as I realized I wanted the miracle of resolution, but The Miracle is really God's presence in the middle of the storm. There are plenty of other "storms" in my life I've wanted calmed, and I'm learning how seeing God with me in them is more important than being saved form them.

6. Small habits build up over time, for better or worse.

Bad habits feel like they grow up out of nowhere, but they're established the same way good habits are--one action repeated again and again. Showing up was a good place for me to start. This played out in an obvious way at the gym.

I wanted to get more physical exercise, but jumping to the end result felt overwhelming, so I started with a goal of showing up. I could do 10 minutes or 5 and I'd still meet my goal by just being there. But chances are, after making the effort to be there, I'll likely finish a whole 30-minute session.

This has applied to a lot of other areas... I figure out what my minimum showing up looks like and aim to do that, then let anything more be a happy bonus. These seemingly small habits of self-care and life-care one by one help me show up to my life.

It's your turn. Pull out a pen and paper (or a notebook to collect these sorts of things). Write "What I learned last year" and start listing whatever comes to mind. This is a great way to look back and "raise your ebenezer"--noticing what brings you to life, how you showed up to your own life, and especially how God showed up.

>>>

also see:
new? start here...
goal-planning brought me back to life
making sense of a hard year
slow + steady self-care
how to find the true you
get my emails

5 Questions to Grow a Capsule Mindset

*Affiliate links used; see full note below

How I dress has impacted my growth in a challenging season. Not in an unhealthy shop-to-fill-a-void kind of way. But in an I'm-worthy-of-this-life and I'll-dress-like-I-truly-believe-that sort of way. "Sometimes the being comes before the feeling," Chasing Slow (aff. link) by Erin Loechner. And dressing with a little more intention is the being that has contributed to feeling competent and confident.

Most of us already know about a capsule wardrobe and its benefits. (For those who don't: It's a wardrobe made up of essential items that don't go out of style and can mix and match outfits and seasons.) If we only wear 20% of our closet 80% of the time (I know I often do), then it saves time, money, energy, and space to simplify that closet and make the best use of our resources.

It also makes getting dressed a little easier, because we don't need to get decision fatigue right at the start of our day, ya know?

And that right there, the decision fatigue, is exactly why a capsule wardrobe matters to me. We all have a finite number of resources. Even if you're not limited by money or space, you might be limited by time or energy or decision-making power, and I am all about simplifying and automating whatever possible so that we can spend our best growing the most important parts of life.

Are you with me?

A simple closet is one small way to counteract the chaos in life. Easy to complete outfits can reduce one area of indecision in a new season of life. Feeling good about the space we begin and end each day in, and the way we look when we leave and return to that space, can create a small dose of renewal in life.

Ask me how I know. (See this >> post and this >> one for more on this "season of renewal" I've been trudging through.)

I've been meaning to create an actual capsule wardrobe for years. Then I re-realized, over time simplifying has given me a capsule wardrobe of sorts just through a simple mindset shift. Even if you may not find an exact capsule in my closet or dresser, there are a few principles that have become my autopilot when I shop and when I declutter my clothes that have helped streamline the process and find a little balance in it all.

I don't need extra things on my to-do list. I just need to know that my choices when shopping are helping my morning routine, not hindering it. I need to know that I'm making purchasing choices that are completing my outfits, not cluttering my closet. I need to know that I can feel good about getting dressed without getting caught in comparison traps that give me one more area to feel like I'm failing. I need to know that I'm showing up in this season of my life as my current best version of myself--inside and out.

Here's what I've learned over the years: The benefits of a capsule wardrobe don't have to be a "someday" dream. The capsule mindset can start growing today, making for a lifetime of enjoying capsule benefits without the work of creating a precise Pinterest-worthy capsule.

How to Create a Capsule Mindset

A capsule mindset grows from a few simple questions. I ask these when I'm in a dressing room trying on clothes, and I ask them when I'm going through my closet or dresser to decide what I'm done with. Questions #1 and #5 are also what I use when I'm getting dressed. If the answer is yes to both, then I'm likely to feel more confident and competent as I set out growing my life.

1. Do I love it?

This includes both how it looks and feels. There have been far too many items I've owned that were just okay or were merely a good price, always leading them to hardly be worn, if at all. Want to know how I know if I love it? I try it on and automatically think, "wow, I love this!" I'm not kidding.

If my inner voice starts saying "if it was just a little longer" or "but it's a little too [fill in the blank]" then I know that it's going be worn once or twice and maybe never again. Because that quiet little "if" and "but" will be there every time I see the item and it will make me pass it over for something that doesn't make me say those things. So I've learned to not settle for anything less than love.

2. Can I wear it more than one way?

Dress it up, dress it down (in the context that I dress up or dress down, which isn't much of a difference); wear it in warm and cool weather, except for seasonal items, of course; mix and match with more than one pair of pants and more than one sweater or accessory option.

It's just not worth owning items that can only be worn one specific way. Plus, it can cause me to try and waste more money on finding items to match it with and go down a slippery slope of buying stuff I don't love. Every item I own can be worn more than one way. When I feel stuck, I search that particular item in Pinterest for ideas, and only Pin outfits with items I already own (i.e., "black vest outfit," "chelsea boots outfit," "chambray shirt outfit").

3. Has it been in style for a while?

And will the quality let me keep wearing it for years? Sure, styles vary through the years. But there are some basic things that have longevity and those are the things truly worth adding to the closet. These are the basics and staples that everybody keeps returning to. A nice pair of jeans or neutral pants, a neutral button up that can be tucked in or worn open over a basic tee. Is your style louder and bolder? Get these basics in colors and patterns that can still be mix and matched.

The more of the closet that makes up these items, the more versatile. This is sort of the foundation for and essence of a capsule wardrobe. Of course this doesn't make up everything I own. But I try to keep my trendier pieces to a minimum, because I know I may not be wearing them very long. I'm also prone to go cheap on the trendier items for that same reason.

4. Is it a color, pattern, or style I naturally reach for repeatedly?

When it comes to buying the more "eccentric" pieces of a wardrobe, they need to very closely match my style or I know I won't wear them often. I know this by the history of what colors I actually wear and which I've bought and neglected. I also know this by how much I love it. My style naturally strays away from too crazy of color or patterns, but they also make the perfect way to perk up an outfit.

I love wearing greens, warm yellows, florals or greenery in those colors, and black and white stripes. I reach for those repeatedly, so they're worth owning within reason. I don't keep adding options, because I know I don't wear patterns and colors often enough to justify that. So I usually need to be done with one color or pattern shirt before I buy a new one.

5. Is it the look I'm aiming for in this season?

Or another question that sometimes helps: Can I imagine my style "icon" wearing it? I usually have an idea in my head of what style I'm aiming for, and I have to keep that image in my mind when I go shopping to make sure I don't settle for more comfortable pieces I already own.

This image in my head helps guide my shopping list for the season (I usually only need a couple items to replace or build on what I already have), and it helps keep me looking put-together. Comfort is the top of my priority list, so even if I'm looking for nice or dressier items, I still make sure it's comfortable.

Additional Outfit Tips

+ Find your "uniform."
The go-to example of a uniform is Steve Jobs' jeans and black turtle necks. The main perk is that it limits options when getting dressed which helps save energy for more important decisions. It also reduces unnecessary shopping and keeps closets and dresses neat and tidy. A uniform can be a little broader. Take whatever your go-to favorite outfit is, replicate it, and you've got a uniform.

+ Know yourself.
Learning more about who I am as a whole person has done the most in helping me figure out my style and find what makes me feel like my best self. It also helps me know whose advice to follow, and when to say "good for you, not for me" when something looks good, but isn't what I want in my wardrobe.

+ Know when enough is enough.
Many of us have been there--shopping when there isn't anything in particular that we need. As you get more into the capsule mindset, you'll get a better idea of what's missing in your wardrobe or what needs replaced, and what's just plain unnecessary. Telling ourselves no and resisting the urge to fill the cracks in our lives with shopping (or whatever your vice may be) is absolutely necessary for becoming healthy whole people. It can be a challenge, but your closet, budget, and heart thanks you for learning when enough is enough. (It's a lesson I'm learning and re-learning.)

+ Get two options in your go-to staples.
I tend to overwear my go-to uniform pieces, so I like having two options. This helps reduce how quickly I wear things out, and gives me better options for mixing and matching. For instance, I own a tan skinny belt and a leopard print one; a basic black glasses frame and the other a fun patterned green; tees in heather grey and black-and-white striped; a tan sweater and a black sweater; a chambray button up and a plaid button-up; a grey crew neck sweater and a striped crew neck sweater. I love these items and wear them regularly, so when I double upped on them, I did so with two different options that help me create lots of no-brainer outfits.

+ Learn easy ways to "complete" an outfit.
A front-tuck or fully tucked in shirt; a belt (patterned or not); a "third piece" like a cardigan, a vest, or a button up; and a simple accessory are all easy ways to complete an outfit. Any combination of these help me feel more put-together in my really simple outfits.


The point of a capsule wardrobe isn't to have one more list of expectations to measure up to and adding one more thing to your to-do list. The point is to wear what you love and love what you own, shop less, be sure of your purchases, keep your clothes a long time, and look put-together with minimal effort. Plus, that little thing about saving your time, money, and energy for growing life.

You don't have to have a specific 9-piece capsule or wear only 33 pieces of clothing to make that happen. (Although I love a good Project 333-type clothing challenge.) If you don't have the time or the desire for those things, then just start growing a simple capsule mindset with the questions above.

You can start enjoying the benefits and put your precious resources toward what really matters in your life.

>>>

also see:
new? start here...
glasses love at first try-on
create life balance
goal-setting brought me back to life
grow your life emails

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10 Ways to Create Life Balance

*Affiliate links used; see full note below.

Life balance is my jam! I realized that all over again this week when I got to be part of a panel on "life balance" for a college Leadership class. It was such a joy to share how we've created some semblance of balance in our home, family, careers, life, and I realized I haven't shared that here on my own blog.

Meanwhile, my home's a bit of a mess while I've focused on some work projects, ran errands, and had a kid home from school with a cough. And that's the main reason I haven't yet written about life balance. There are too many times I don't feel like I have it.

And I certainly don't have the world-wide keys to unlock life balance for everyone. In short: I don't have The Answers. I have found some ways that work for my life that help create the balance I need and the balance that keeps our family and home and life running, even, maybe especially, on chaotic days like today.

That's what I loved about being on the panel--I was simply answering questions sharing what works for me. Those of us on the panel answered questions about figuring out what's most important to us, deciding what to say "no" to when we're too busy, destressing during the week, making time for hobbies and interests, and dealing with daily life when going through personal trauma.

So, I'm going to share some of my responses here, just in case any of this might unlock some piece of life balance for you, too. These are the practices of life balance that I return to over and over in my life. Over time much of it has become my autopilot and is what I attribute any balance I've found.

1. Decide your top 3.

I got this habit from DayDesigner. Each of their planner pages have a place to write your top 3 tasks/priorities to stay focused on what's really important for that day. This works for looking at the week, the season, or even your life. Balance isn't about always getting everything done and doing everything in equal proportions. Life balance is about making sure your limited time and energy goes to what really matters. Focusing on your top 3 can help make that happen.

If you complete only 3 things today, which will make the day feel successful? What about for this week? This season? The year? Your life? This can help simplify a too-long to-do list, give a starting point, and build motivation to continue progress beyond these three things. Then you're free to stop trying to do it all, and can rest in peace knowing you've done what matters.

2. Do the next right thing.

I first read about this years ago, but have since heard it a lot. The idea is that you don't climb a mountain, write a book, find life balance all at once. You start with the first literal step, the first writing session, the task right in front of you that will help balance out your life.

What is your next right thing in this moment? Often when I'm asking myself this question, my next right thing is some monotonous chore like washing the dishes or folding the laundry. Clearing up the obvious clutter and checking off a quick task is usually just the starting point I need to tackle the rest of my list or be able to relax in peace--both can contribute to my overall life balance.

3. Choose your support group.

There's a saying floating around attributed to businessman Jim Rohn that "You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with." Your lifestyle and your ability to live the life you want is largely dependent on the people you choose to spend your time with. We can encourage or discourage those around us, and we can choose to be around people that generally do one or the other. Adult friendships are hard even without thinking of the life value we get from our friends, but one way to be proactive about this is with something called a "mastermind" group.

Who are your 5 closest friends? Are there people you could invite into your circle to encourage each other in life? A mastermind group is a small group, around 3-5 people, that meet regularly to talk about goals, share what they're learning, and hold each other accountability. The mastermind group I am part of began to talk about blogging and our creative online work. We have met biweekly and monthly, depending on what we all have going on. And while we largely talk about work-related goals, we also spend time sharing what we're learning, how we're using our gifts and staying inspired, and about life balance. A mastermind group can meet for working out or health, work, life balance, or any number of topics. Point is, find friends that encourage rather the discourage the life you want to live.

4. Know yourself and live into that.

A question that was rephrased a couple different ways in the life balance panel was how to find out what's really important to you and make that happen. For me, this journey started more so after finishing college and starting a family. I had done various personality type-tests in the past, but didn't start making use of the information until later. Now instead of learning something about myself--what makes me tick and such--and just brushing it off, I use it to make sense of my life direction. Who I am and what I value has been a part of my life basically since my birth. I grow and develop, but for the most part I'm just discovering more of who I already am. As I discover all of who God made me to be, I discover a little more of His purpose and calling in my life and for my family. So knowing myself and making choices that help me live into that has been huge and helping me feel satisfied and balanced in my life choices.

What is your personality? What are your strengths? What interested you as a kid, and what interests you now? What makes you feel alive? This is the foundation for so many choices you will make throughout your life. Consider taking a self discovery test like StrengthsFinder, the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, and others. This information can help you know yourself better, including how to take care of yourself, what type of goals to set or career to pursue, and even what gifts you have that can serve others more naturally. This sort of personal growth uncovers who God made you to be leading to a life balance specific to all of your strengths and weaknesses.

5. Say your best yes, and even some hard nos.

Two of the best books I've read so far on this topic are: Essentialism and The Best Yes. Both offer really practical ways to be sure you're focusing your time and energy on what really matters for you, ultimately leading to life balance. One of my big takeaways is considering how enthusiastic I am when I say "yes" to something. Is it forced, filled with guilt or obligation, or something I'm vaguely interested in? If so, then I'm going to fizzle out or hate it right from the start. But if my yes is a "heck, yes!" then there's likely some value to the opportunity that will keep me motivated even when life gets difficult.

Is your answer a "heck, yes"? If not, maybe a no would be a better response. Even if there's something you want to say yes to, there might be something more important that needs to take your time and energy for this season. I've had to say some nos to things I actually wanted to do, just because it wasn't the right season for it. Only you can know what's the best yes for you and your family and the life balance you're aiming for.

6. Make choices based on what's most important to you.

This is going back a little bit to that "know yourself" thing. But even more than that, know what you value. In the life balance panel, my answers kept returning to the fact that we value faith and family and make most of our decisions prioritizing those two things. That can look different for different people. For our family that meant me being a stay-at-home-mom for the last 9+ years. The truth is we actually can't "afford" for me to stay home with our kids all day. We just valued that aspect of providing for our family enough that we were able to make other sacrifices in order to make it happen. This isn't about making the "right" choices--I don't believe there usually is such a thing. I do believe there is such a thing as making your right choices. The choices only you can make for your family. Prioritizing family can mean a lot of different things to different people--know what your values mean for the choices you make.

What do you value? What's most important to you in life? Big picture: What are your top priorities, and what helps you meet those needs? Know what's most important to you and make choices based on those priorities. We all make sacrifices, so we have to choose the ones that help us live into the life we want.

7. Make a plan, and write it down.

I go a little overboard on this, just because writing things down is a big part of who I am. But you don't have to have extensive planning sessions or keep journals of notes. In fact, unless you have an inner need to: Don't. Keep it simple, and just jot down some quick answers to the questions in this post. Or list some of the things you hope to do in the next few years. There is value to just writing down simple things like who you are, what you value, what you want to do in life. You don't even necessarily have to post this anywhere. The act of writing it means you're putting those goals and priorities into your brain space, giving you a direction to head. A purpose and a calling of sorts, helping you live the balanced life you dream of.

What does your dream balanced life look like? Given your strengths and values and place in life... jot down some of the details a balanced life might look like for you. From this list you can choose your top 3 to focus on or you can choose your next right step. Or you can lose the list and forget about it, and that dream/plan will still be there in your head and heart guiding you toward the balance you're capable of. If you want to explore more extensive goal/life planning, I love PowerSheets for that.

8. Know what season you're in.

This needs to be said, because life balance looks different throughout seasons of life. Some seasons are full of energy and motivation and life balance will include a lot of getting stuff done. Some seasons are about travel or family or taking a break after a busy season. And some seasons are about just plain ol' survival if you're dealing with a major life change (move, child, career change), a personal trauma, or an illness. There are seasons when getting out of bed is a victory worth celebrating, so don't discredit the accomplishment in the "little" things.

What season are you in? Is this a season of dealing with change or slowing down to savor or hustling to get things done? What season are you in emotionally--thriving and blooming, or planting and waiting to see if anything will come up from the dirt? Knowing the season you're in can help you give yourself grace to let go of what you're not able to complete now, or at least perspective to know that highs or lows come and go, and that really is the broad swing in the balance of life.

9. Take a break.

Shut it down. The notifications, the technology, your brain. Reset. Be in nature. Take a nap. Make time for a hobby or a creative pursuit. Learn one if you don't have one. Turn on music, go for a walk, visit with a friend. This is important to do a little bit each day, and for the 24-hour Sabbath each week. It's essential for our health, and can even help us come back to our work and our stresses with a fresh perspective and new creativity.

How do you destress? How often do you unplug, and when can you make that happen each day and each week? Consider making a list of the ways you enjoy taking a break. Those things mentioned above that help you feel alive--do more of those to help balance out the adult obligations of life. Fill your life with more living.

10. Prioritize balance for your life.

The real way I find a balanced life is by prioritizing balance. Feeling balanced matters to me. I know my threshold for stress and I know which habits will lead me to feel unbalanced. Simplifying is also deeply important to me--it's at the core of who I am, so that becomes my inner compass to make choices that enrich the lives we want rather than the lives we see others living.

Do you prioritize balance in your life? If not, what is more important to you? If so, which areas in particular do you aim to keep balanced? Live into the balance you envision for your life, not the balance you think you "should" be aiming for.

A balanced life is possible--when we stop chasing someone else's version of balance and instead pursue our own. Take whatever of these life balance practices that work for you, and leave the rest guilt-free. Guilt only hinders your life balance.

Life balance is full of grace and finding your own groove for your life.


>>>

also see:
new? start here...
the goals that brought me back to life
slow and steady self-care over the long haul
signup for emails

*Note: Affiliate links used. Any purchases made through these links could earn me a small commission with no extra cost to you. This is a little known way to support the bloggers, writers, and online creatives that you love. So if you choose to do that here, thank you!

Lessons on Slow -- Making Sense of a Hard Year

Last year was my year for slow. When I chose that word for the year, I imagined a beautifully simplified and intentionally filled life. I would let go of unnecessary commitments, and fill my time with the best stuff life has to offer. Instead, after I said "no" to some things, I did not like the slow that I was met with. Instead of leading me to beautiful new commitments, God walked with me through the challenging slow.

Slow made all of the emotional struggles I didn't even know I was hiding come to the surface. Slow felt itchy and uncomfortable like I needed something, anything, to do to ignore it a while longer. Slow revealed a grief over a life transition that I hadn't yet realized I was mourning. Slow made room for the fog in my life, and I did not like the fog, therefore I did not like that season of slow.

For all of those reasons, last year was a hard year. It was also a really good year with a strong list of amazing memories and experiences with people I love and in cool places. Those were moments of joy in an otherwise tough season. A season that leaves me feeling so thankful now that it's over.

I'm thankful because the challenges of last year taught me some lasting, meaningful lessons.

1. Growth doesn't always look like big, beautiful blooms.

Sometimes it looks like worms and dirt and mulch. But that doesn't mean strong, foundational roots aren't growing under the surface. I not entirely on purpose turned to a lot of children's books on seasons and growth. Each of those books offered sweet and simple encouragement for what I was experiencing.

2. The good stuff in life is all from God.

Particularly His creation--people and nature. It brings such lasting joy even in the middle of spiritual or emotional or relational wildernesses. We frequented a nearby park on the weekends, were in the path of totality for the solar eclipse, enjoyed a Thanksgiving sunrise, and even went on a cruise for our 10-year anniversary. Those experiences brought so much joy being with people I love and enjoying the awesome wonders of God's creation.

3. Be careful what you ask for.

Just kidding. Kind of. Choosing to focus on and make room for "slow" this year opened up an unexpected, and altogether necessary, can of worms. But in gardening and in life, worms can be used for good.

4. Self-care isn't all manicures and bubble baths.

Often self-care is hard things like doctor appointments and taking vitamins and breaking socially acceptable addictions like social media scrolling and Netflix binging. Nobody can do those things for you. And, yes, sometimes self-care is even bubble baths and manicures.

5. "Away" doesn't solve problems.

They'll just follow along for the ride. Addressing problems is the only real way to solve them. This is a lesson I've learned and relearned a few times over since I was 15. And yet I still dream of going "away" when I feel discomfort.

It's your turn. Pull out a pen and paper (or a notebook you can collect these sorts of things in). Write "What I learned in the last year" and start listing whatever comes to mind. Write a list of short phrases, or fill out a story or experience that goes with it if you want. Sometimes acknowledging the end result or seeing a lesson learned can make the hard times worth the struggle.

And there's always good stuff, even in the hard. So be sure to add that to the list too.

>>>

also see:
new? start here...
ways to be filled
ways to get inspired
email signup

Slowing to Hear God's Wish

My word for this year is slow. My personal resolution for this month is to improve our family meals--slowing down for cooking and conversations. And my creative goal for this quarter is less learning and more doing--especially writing on inspiration I've had and has continued to grow since 2012.

Put all of those things together and we get the rest of this blog post.

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Our 2-year-old saw me working on peeling and cutting potatoes for breakfast and asked, "Is that apples, mommy?"

Um, no, son.

I've clearly not made real potatoes in a long time. At first I almost skipped it. I mean, being up all night with a vomiting toddler is a perfect excuse to pass on slowing for homemade. But I did it anyway, peeling, cutting, seasoning. And I realized how much I miss it. I've never been much of a cook, but I've definitely done considerably less of it since Baby 3. And I miss the slow rhythms of feeding my family.

These days, slow isn't natural for me and sometimes it's just flat-out not desirable.

Sharon Hodde Miller shared her experience of taking the long, slow path to writing her book on my friend Merritt's podcast. She shared the lessons she has learned along the way, and at some point Merritt asked her what advice she would give to someone wanting to skip that long, slow path. How might they learn from her struggles to get to the end result a little quicker? (Listen to the episode to hear the full conversation.)

It got me thinking about how we always want the shortcut. We want the meal without all the prep. We want to skip the fall of mankind and think of how we might have done things different than Adam and Eve. We want to not wander in the wilderness and think of how we wouldn't complain or misbehave like the Israelites did. We want the book without the life lessons to fill it.

Yet, by doing that, by looking for the shortcuts and imagining ways we wouldn't mess up, we're unknowingly removing Jesus from the equation. We're saying that we don't need His salvation, or we'd like to avoid needing it if at all possible. We forget that the fall and the struggle and the wander is the very reason we get to experience rescue and hope and grace. (Lots more on this to come, because it's the heart of the message inspiring me.)

Trying to find the shortcut only shortcuts our stories.

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Last night our 6-year-old threw a huge fit about the meal I had spent 45 minutes preparing, before he even got to the table. So, later after everyone else was done and gone and my husband had spent a good while diffusing the situation, I returned to give my husband a break.

As my son finished the part of the meal he finally decided he liked, and I washed the dishes, I tried explaining to him what it's like to work hard cooking a meal and then be met with whining and complaining before the food had even been tried. That it's a little like how he felt the day before when he worked so hard meticulously placing tiny beads on a heart formation and his little brother knocked it all on the floor. I asked if he remembered how that felt.

He seemed kind of thoughtful, even sad thinking about his hard work that had been swiped away in a second. Then, as if something clicked, he responded, "It's kind of like a wish not coming true."

You bet, bud. Every meal I labor over that my kids refuse to eat is like my wish for them, for me, for our family, not coming true.

Today, those words came back around to me in a way I didn't expect.

I've been in a rut of growth and writing and figuring out what I'm doing "here" and what I'm doing next. Last week I answered some questions in a sort of interview over the phone and talked about my faith and writing and blogging. When asked what I hoped would eventually come of it, all I could admit was the unknown. And it's true. I'm so hopeful for God to come through and lead in ways I don't even know to ask for right now.

Still, I used to get a little more specific. I used to be brave enough to admit I felt God calling me to writing and speaking. Now, thinking that makes me feel like I don't even want it anymore. I feel scared that God might actually come through to lead me to speak and write and I'd fail. That perhaps my 7-year-old dream of being a secretary (because I didn't know writing could be a career) might be the safer, more comfortable route. Or maybe God doesn't want to use my writing and speaking as much as I've pleaded with Him to do so.

I've been turning this all over and over in my mind. Thoughts that carry away and prayers that formulate as I slow to peel and cut and prepare food or as I fold and stack and put away clean laundry. Words that come as I slow. The everyday mundane where a mustard seed of faith is all you need to grow something beyond recognition.

The laundry is what I was working on today as I listened to a podcast. God said words that hit me deep enough, clear enough, personal enough I had to pause the episode to go sit on the toilet seat and cry.

I heard God say: "Trina, every time you procrastinate on writing that message I've been scripting into your heart and every time you say 'but this calling isn't a real thing for me to do,' it's like My wish for You isn't coming true."

That's the last thing I'd ever want is for God's wish for me to not come true. Yet, I discredit Him or chicken out or quit following His plan because it's just taking too long. And it hit me, that's exactly what I've been doing--or rather, not doing. Looking for any reason to believe His wish for me has changed or I somehow got it wrong, then not following through.

There are no shortcuts. Clearly. Just lots more pieces filtering in these slow moments. More to what God is speaking into my life and where He is leading. More of His words growing in my heart and flowing through my fingers.

If I would just let Him.

So, with all of that, I'm continuing to slow, continuing to homecook more of our meals, and continuing to write words that have been growing in my heart for years now. It's time just as much as it was 4 years ago. And I can't let the lack of shortcuts cause me to give up on Him.

God has a beautiful wish for my life.

And I believe He has a beautiful wish for your life, too.

Let's slow to hear Him. Then be faithful to follow Him the long way.

>>>

also see:
new? start here...
30 prayer stories
grow your life

6 Resolutions I've Never Regretted Trying

New beginnings are my jam! Seriously, it's no accident "beginner" is in the title of this blog. I am perpetually beginning, and I love it. I love making goals and new starts and filling in new pages of new journals. New years, new quarters, new months, birthdays--all just an excuse for me to make goals and plan new beginnings.

My one problem with new beginnings is I always start with an epic mentality--Go big or go home! Do all the things! This is my year and I'm going to make it all happen! (Hence the reason for my ebook and accompanying journal: Epic Beginner.)

It hasn't taken me long to realize all the things don't happen. I sometimes have fun trying, and sometimes I just get burned out or bummed out from accomplishing only a couple things on a never-ending list.

I'm learning to embrace a slower, more realistic pace to my goals. (That's why "slow" is my word for this year.) In 2012 that meant doing monthly resolutions: Having one goal or focus for each month. By the end of the year I accomplished TWELVE resolutions. It's still one of my favorite years to-date.

My friend, Alysa, read The 12 Week Year (*affiliate link used; see full note below) and inspired me in doing quarterly goals. So each 3-month period is a new beginning--yay!

This year I caught myself diving into my goals wanting to do everything all at once again, and my sister-in-law, Michaela, had the brilliant idea of focusing on one personal goal each month (like my monthly resolutions) and working on one creative goal each quarter (like Alysa's 12-week year). I love it! So that's what I'll be doing this year. Still attempting A Lot of The Things, but one at a time.

And be sure to checkout my friend Merritt's podcast where she interviews devoted dreamers who share their experiences in going from dreaming to doing--which is really what goals at new beginnings are about, right? It's so inspiring to hear how others are actually doing their dreams.

Wherever you're at with your goal-planning for this year (or even if it doesn't exist, because we can't all be nuts about beginnings), below are six resolutions you won't regret trying. These are changes that I've never gone wrong on. Every year, or every goal-planning session, I see some form of these pop up, and I've never regretted any time or effort I've put into these changes. I take my next right simple and specific step in each one. The changes are lasting and build on each other each new year and new beginning.

Keep reading for ideas to make them your own.

Move More

This resolution, along with the one below, is a little more specific and doable than losing a set number of pounds. Moving more might be doing a daily 4-minute HIIT exercise, using that gym membership a certain number of times a week, taking daily walks, stretching in the evenings, or all of the above. The key is to start small and doable and work it into your daily/weekly routine. Make it something you can keep up for the long haul. I'm still working on my simple morning exercises and we're getting back into our 3x/week gym routine. We finally worked out after a too-long break and were wiped for a few days--we are done being out of shape!

Also see: Monthly Resolutions

Eat Better

Same as moving more, eating better is a little more specific and doable than focusing on an ambiguous number on a scale. Instead of a fad diet, make real lasting changes to your meals. Last year, this meant trading out my dessert-like coffee for a simple tea Monday-Thursday. It was a tiny, very doable change, and helped me lose a couple stubborn pounds that weren't going anywhere. Now that it's set in my routine, I can work on other small changes. Look for the key problem areas in your own diet. Replace unhealthy drinks with a healthier alternative or more water; take healthy lunches and snacks to work a certain number of times a week; eat at home more than you already do. This year, I'm tackling our family's meal times to try and get back to healthier home-cooked meals and nudge my kids to less picky-ness. Wish me luck!

Also see: New Year's Fasts

Self-Care

I can't be the only that has replaced positive de-stressing routines with "unwinding" each evening in front of a Netflix binge sesh. At first it was fun and felt like a break. Now it feels a little like wasting my life and not giving me the room I need to actually de-stress. So, self-care was on my list starting the middle of last year and is lingering on my list this year. It includes more baths, more reading, more intentional use of my evenings after the kids are in bed, and even scheduling more doctors and preventative care appointments. I also include my devotional time in self-care, because Jesus is the only One that can really heal me and fill me up, but that gets its own line below.

Also see: 5 Things Only You Can Do

Be Present

This is an ongoing priority for me, but was a big focus especially in 2014 when we were getting ready for Baby 3 and a move. When things get busy it's easy to miss the little everyday meaningful moments that we'll never get back. Sometimes this means planning specific time with the people I love, sometimes it means letting my To Do list go for an afternoon while I watch my kids play, or taking a deep breath and capturing a moment with my camera or with my mind before I go on to the next thing. I have never regretted moments I've spent focusing on being present with the people I love.

Also see: Success is What You Do While Everyone Else is Distracted

Read More

There's a saying that you'll be the same person next year besides for the people you've met and the books you've read. Over the last few years, the books I've read have definitely had a huge part in my growth in all areas of life. That wasn't always the case. Up until 2012, I was simply not a reader. It took forever to read a book and I often got distracted or lost interest. Then, I read a book in a week and realized maybe I'd just been making excuses all my life. So I read an average of 1 1/2 books each month that year and have been reading ever since. You won't regret picking up the habit of reading or the person you'll grow to be because of it.

Also see: Book-a-Month Resolution

Devotional Time

I saved the best for last. At all of my new beginnings, my devotional life is top of my priority list. Growing closer to Jesus through reading His Word, memorizing and focusing on scripture, praying more specifically and earnestly. I've read through the Bible a couple years ago and am working on reading through The Message, a habit that I'll keep up ongoing. If I'll be the same person this time next year besides for the people I've met and the books I've read, well, devotional time will be the most life-changing thing I'll do. Because I'll be getting to know Jesus at a deeper level, reading His truth and letting it soak in a little more, and following Him to the people, places, and experiences He has in mind for me. Seriously, best choice ever.

Also see: Thoughts on Bible Reading

Those are the six resolutions I've never regretted making a priority. Some I'll be continuing this year in the form of my next right small, doable habit change. Allowing them to settle into my regular routines even as I focus and work on other goals. This may not be my best year yet, but I'm sure to end it thankful for new beginnings and slow growth in the process. I hope you will to!

Happy New Year!

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also see:
new? start here...
how to change
30 days to change checklist
courage to do hard things
grow your life

*Note: Affiliate link used. Purchases through this link could earn me a small commission with no extra cost to you. Thank you.

Creating a Meaningful and Simple Christmas

A little holiday confession: I don't love Christmas. I love Jesus and the story of Jesus' birth. I also love twinkling lights, peppy holiday tunes, peppermint drinks, and mistletoe.

All of the expectations, though? It's a little much for this simple-loving needing girl. Decorations and 25-days of countdown fun and homemade cookies and presents (multiple) for even just our family and every group everywhere (school, work, church, friends, other friends, family) feeling like they need their own exchange or drive. Have I mentioned the clutter? The excess of everything and that our already cozy living room has no space with our tree.

Okay, now I'm just going into an all-out rant. Which isn't the point.

The point is that it takes a little extra intention to simplify it all and make it meaningful. And not meaningful by saying yes to all of the good ideas that everyone else is doing.

Christmas isn't about doing All The Things. Instead, I'm learning to choose the one, two, or three that are meaningful to me and my family and make space to do those. Which can be hard, because what I want/need this season is a little different than what my family wants/needs. On the plus side, they're getting older and can help take over some of the added responsibilities. (See "decorations" below. The kids decorate the tree all by themselves now!)

Then, I'm giving myself permission to let go of the rest acknowledging that they may be good ideas, even great ideas, for someone else, but not for me. The end result will be a focused, even relaxed (can you imagine?!), Christmas season.

I was thinking of how I might encourage you in a simple and intentional holiday season, then realized I've already shared my holiday posts over the years. So instead of adding more, for now, I'm simply gathering all that I have on the topic in one spot (this post), along with short descriptions of how we approach the Christmas festivities and ideas we use to keep it simple and meaningful in our own way.

Holiday Cards

We've done our holiday cards a variety of ways over the last few years. Most often we take a quick family snapshot, I edit it (for free) in PicMonkey, then post it online after mailing (or emailing) it to family and friends. I keep a pretty short list of who we send to, focusing on parents, grandparents, and siblings (every now and then a few friends make the list). And instead of a long holiday letter (since most people keep in touch with us online), I write a note about how we're thankful they're in our lives.

More on holiday cards:
Simplifying Holiday Cards + 4 Free Overlays
DIY Christmas Cards

Presents

I am not a great gift-giver, so this tradition stresses me out. However, I love people that this is their love language, so I've learned to not totally do away with it. Tight finances for all of our Christmases has made it somewhat easy to say we are simply doing presents within our own family. For the times that we are together with siblings and cousins, it's been fun to do a game gift exchange, a favorite-things gift exchange, or an experiences gift exchange which was my favorite.

For our kids, we give 3 gifts each: something to read, something to wear, and something fun/to play with. We also give them each new pajamas that they open and can wear Christmas Eve night while they sleep by the lit Christmas tree. We fill their stockings with a small simple toy and snacks that they get to open and eat/play with when they wake up Christmas morning which buys my husband and I a little extra rest-time.

More on gift-giving:
Simplifying Gifts
Giving When You Have Nothing to Give

Decorations

We have an artifical tree we put up every year, along with stockings, the Willow Creek Nativity, a wreath on the front door, a simple mistletoe ball, stockings, and some years our Advent envelopes. The decorations, including the tree and nativity, all fits in 3 tubs which helps us keep a limit on it all. Last year and this year we let the kids decorate the tree all by themselves (we helped set it up and string the lights). I love its imperfect charm. And that I didn't have to do as much :)

More on decorating:
Homemade Mini Christmas Tree
Small Space Tree Ideas

Advent

We simply countdown the 25 days to Christmas. There are some great devotional readings, activity ideas, and so much more revolving around Advent. We keep it simple with reading texts and stories related to Jesus' birth from books we already have. We also made a simple envelope countdown that included activities our first year, but we haven't done the daily activities since.

More on Advent:
49 Advent Calendar Ideas
Our Envelope Advent Calendar
Joy to the World, He is Coming Again!

Activities

Some of our favorite holiday activities are those that take the least planning and preparation. We drive through neighborhoods anytime after dark to look at lights, watch our favorite Christmas movies on the weekends, enjoy peppermint cookies or cocoa, light peppermint candles or diffuse peppermint essential oil, and listen to Pandora holiday stations like Pentatonix or Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree or Michael Buble.

I mentioned in "presents" above that we've done an experience gift-exchange with siblings, cousins, parents, which is fun. We played a fun new game, did 4-minute exercise as a group, drank wassail, and more. Last year, per my daughter's request, we all (adults included) had a snowflake making contest which was lots of fun.

More on Activities:
Simple Holiday Date Night
100 Acts of Kindness


Rather than adding to your already overflowing pool of ideas, I hope you feel empowered to keep your Christmas simple and meaningful your way.

Wishing you a simply merry Christmas!

>>>

also see:
new? start here...
monthly simple

When It's Hard to Breathe: YHWH is the Breath of Life

I've been thinking about breathing a lot, lately. Something I've done so easily my whole life has never needed thought to make it happen. (Except when I was 7 and ran full-speed smack into a friend that was running the other way and got the wind knocked out of me. That was a moment when it was hard to breathe.)

There's been moments lately when the anxious thoughts get to me and make my body tense and stop my breath in a knot in my chest, and I can't seem to take a full, deep breath even if I try. And I do try and it takes several tries before finally getting the breath all the way down into my lungs where it's supposed to go.

So I've been thinking about breathing.

I've been thinking about how God breathed His breath of life into Adam in Genesis 2:7. And that same breath has given life to humanity for countless generations and people. God's breath of life is what flows through me today to keep me alive.

I've been thinking about how God breathed life into the dry bones of Ezekiel 37:5.

I've been thinking about how God doesn't need anything from us because He gives life and breath and all the things according to Acts 17:25. Then in verse 28 we're told we're His offspring. We are the children of the God who holds the breath of life.

Many things threaten to take that breath away from me.

Motherhood, for one. The comedian Jim Gaffigan tells about what it was like to have their fourth child by saying, Imagine you're drowning... and then someone hands you a baby. It's like that. We don't have four children, but our three sure have a fire in them. And every fight and cry has a way of tensing up my back and my shoulders and my neck until I realize I'm not taking actual breaths.

That's just my one constant stressor. (Don't get me wrong, they're a joy, too, but that's not relevant to this post.) Then there's finances and political tension and world disaster and seeing relationships fall apart in the comments on Facebook. And I find it hard to take a full, deep breath in the middle of it all.

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It feels a little bit like when my sister and I were swimming in the Atlantic Ocean with our grandpa. We followed his lead, swimming further and further away from the shore. Until finally we question, shouldn't we be heading back? He doesn't seem worried, but I'm swimming around trying to keep my feet from dropping because I am panicked about what's swimming way down below.

Grandpa, calm as can be, tells me to put my feet down.

Um, nah.

Until I'm short of breath and my feet drop and I realize Grandpa has been calm and breathing fine because he is sitting on a sand bar. My toes dig into the sandy bottom and the water barely brushes past my knees.

All of the flailing and panicking and being short of breath and I just wish I had given in and put my feet down sooner.

That's where I am. Finally starting to find my breath and find my footing and wishing I had given in sooner. Problem was, I didn't really know how. Maybe you can relate. You know God is the answer and surrender to Him is the action, but how? How do we put our feet down and take a deep breath?

I found some great ideas in Philippians 4:

1. Rejoice in the Lord always. It's worth repeating: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

When I just don't know what to do or where to start, rejoice. Easier said than done, right? Well, the following 3 actions might help.

2. Let your gentleness show to others. Philippians 4:5

When the kids are yelling or the comments are rolling or the sides are taken, gentleness isn't necessarily the easy response. Still, a gentle response grows into loosened muscles, surrendered will, deep breaths, and built bridges.

3. Replace anxious thoughts with prayer and thanks. Philippians 4:6

When the worry comes: Pray. Because there is always space in my mind to pray. Or sometimes only space in my mind to pray. And when the despair settles: Give thanks. Because there is always always something to be thankful.

4. Think on good things. Philippians 4:8

When my mind wanders where I don't want it to go, I can bring it back around to whatever is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, brings good news, has virtue, or is praiseworthy.

Then, God's peace will guard our hearts. (verse 7)

It almost seems like pat, cliche answers, doesn't it?

If I tried to pass it off as a one-time cure-all, then yes, it would absolutely be a trite solution.

It's not a one-time thing. It's an all-the-time thing. As surely as the breaths we breathe to keep us alive, so is our need for the very Source of that breath of life. In and out; here I am. In and out; mind on Him. In and out; surrender.

I've taught myself otherwise. In my gut reaction to stress and overwhelm and anxiety, I've taught myself to tighten and flinch and hold my breath. Like a car passenger bracing for impact in an accident, my body follows my breath. Breath gone, body tight. It happens to a lesser degree throughout each day.

Child yells--breath gone, body tight. Seeing sides being taken online--breath gone, body tight. Reading about another war, another disaster, another tragedy--breath gone, body tight.

Now, I've got to un-teach my body such bad reactions to stress. I've got to re-teach myself how to breathe.

I experienced the breathing struggle in my yoga class yesterday. It was a yin practice, meaning we spent the whole time in simple stretches while focusing on breathing. And even when my focus was breathing, I still found myself tightening and holding my breath. So, I had to steady my breath, in and out, and let my body follow the breath--loosen, relax, settle.

As I breathed, I remembered Rob Bell's description of YHWH, the name for God. That it's less definitive word and more the sound we make with our breath. Like a newborn baby taking it's first breath in: yah. And like someone breathing out their last breath at the end of their life: weh. YHWH. God. Our Breath of Life.

I am relearning how to let my breath and then my body surrender to YHWH, the Breath of Life.

When it all seems just too hard. When rejoicing and gentleness and prayer and thanks and thinking good things seem like the hardest thing I'll do today, and my breath gets caught in my chest at the difficulty of it all, I remember how Philippians 4 continues in verse 12-13...

Whatever state I'm in, I can breathe through the strength of Christ. The One who makes me who I am. He is my breath of life.

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also see:
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30 second anytime break
if you feel caught in-between
simple dose of growth

30-Second Anytime Break

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day 29 of 31 celebrating three-oh

I got the sweet gift of a 2-minute reset at a women's retreat last weekend. Since coming home, I've used the same practice for shorter resets of 30 seconds or less throughout the day when I need it most. I'll share my experience, then share how to do a 30-second anytime break yourself.

We were in a seminar on motherhood where a psychologist was sharing about mindful parenting. Mindfulness--it's the opposite of mindlessness. It's what helps us make better decisions. Choices that combine our facts and feelings to act in a Christ-centered way rather than lashing out in exhausted emotions.

To show us a little example of proactive mindfulness, she had us all put down our pens, paper, cups, or phones we were holding. She had us set our hands in our laps, relax our muscles, and take deep, slow breaths in through our noses and out through our mouths. With each breath, we intentionally lengthened the breath, breathing in slowly through our noses, and taking even longer to blow the breath out through our mouths.

She told us to focus on the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." She said that thoughts come in our minds at a crazy rate per second, and we have to help train our minds which thoughts to settle on. So for two minutes we would focus on this Bible text, and for any other thoughts that came to mind we'd simply say in our minds "next."

When she started the timer, the room was quiet, our eyes were closed, and we focused. I thought about the text, and quickly found myself thinking of all the things I wanted Christ to do in my life with His strength. Stabilize our finances and revive our marriage and speak through me in the seminar I was supposed to give during the next session.

Instead of letting my mind dwell on my personal areas of weakness and need, I said "next." Even if they related somewhat to doing the things in my life through Christ, I said "next" and instead focused on Christ.

Soon, behind my closed eyes, it was just me sitting cross-legged with white all around and the words "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" stacked in large black block letters filling the space directly in front of me. A new thought or distraction would come to mind, I would say "next," and it would bounce off the word Christ as He reclaimed His spot as the focus, the source of strength, in that text, and now in my life.

My nerves and anxiety and obsessive problem-focusing settled. By the end of the 2 minutes, my stomach softened, my shoulders loosened, my heart steadied, and I felt such calm in the fact that it's not about what I can do or what I want Christ to do. The whole point is that Christ can do all things, and He will do some of those things through me when I stop obsessing and dictating.

When I find myself obsessing and getting anxious, I remember mindfulness. Instead of mindlessly letting my mind wander, I bring it back into focus on Christ. Meditating on His truth and light.

I need to do that for longer periods to start each morning and end each day, and maybe taking a break each afternoon. In between, when my shoulder's in knots and my stomach's full of nerves over I don't know what, I can take a 30-second break. A refocusing.

An anytime break to practice mindfulness. Give it a try. ↓

Stop.

Close your eyes.

Loosen your muscles.

Slow your breath.

Deep, long, slow breath in through your nose.

Longer, slower breath out through your mouth.

Another deeper, longer slower breath in through your nose.

Another longer, slower, breath out through your mouth.

Now set your mind on truth. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Or God reaches down and saves me because He delights in me. Or any Bible text or simple statement that focuses on Jesus.

When other thoughts come to mind (because they will), say "next."

Just loosen, relax, calm, breath, and focus your mind on truth.

Do this for a set amount of time, or for a few breaths, or briefly before you address the child or task screaming for your attention.

Reset. And repeat as often as needed throughout the day.

Practice mindfulness so you can act in love and truth, rather than mindlessly defaulting to negativity or despair.


>>>

also see:
new? start here...
31 days celebrating three-oh
monthly dose of simple